Life can be hard. Even when someone’s life appears perfect from the outside, we never truly know what is happening behind closed doors. It’s easy to fall into the habit of comparing ourselves to others and assuming their lives are easier or more put-together than our own. This comparison can feel isolating, especially when we don’t have relationships where we feel safe enough to be our true, authentic selves.
The truth is, people don’t always understand what we’re going through, and sometimes, we don’t understand what they’re going through either. That doesn’t mean anyone is at fault. We all carry different experiences, emotions, and struggles that shape how we see the world.
This is where empathy becomes essential.
Empathy is defined as the ability to understand someone’s experiences and emotions from their perspective and to communicate that understanding in a way that fosters trust and connection (Hepworth et al., 2017).
Empathy doesn’t mean having the right advice or knowing how to fix someone’s problems. Often, it simply means listening. (Hepworth et al., 2017).
For example, when a friend vents about a stressful day, empathy looks like giving them your full attention instead of interrupting or offering solutions they didn’t ask for. Saying something as simple as, “That sounds really overwhelming,” can help someone feel seen and validated.
Sometimes, empathy shows up in even smaller ways. Noticing when someone is unusually quiet and checking in with them, being patient with someone who seems irritable, or choosing not to judge when you don’t know their full story are all acts of empathy. These moments may seem small, but they can make a significant difference.
Even offering comfort without words can matter. Sitting with someone while they cry, or gently saying, “I’m really sorry you’re going through this, can I give you a hug?” can help remind them that they are not alone. In those moments, presence is often more powerful than advice.
According to Cohen (2015) and Cherry (2023), empathy is both an emotional and cognitive skill. It involves understanding and sharing another person’s experience while still maintaining your own perspective. Psychologists describe empathy as the ability to sense, understand, and share the feelings of others by seeing situations from their point of view (Cherry, 2023). It is not something we either have or don’t have, it is something we build over time by listening, asking questions, setting aside assumptions, and being open to perspectives different from our own (Cohen, 2015).
Being empathetic strengthens relationships by improving communication, building trust, and creating deeper emotional connections. When empathy is present, people feel safer expressing themselves honestly, which leads to healthier friendships, families, and communities.
There is so much happening in the world right now, and everyone is navigating their own unique challenges. Even when we don’t fully understand someone’s experience, we can choose kindness. Empathy reminds us that we don’t have to have all the answers but showing up is the first step.
Citations:
Cherry, K. (2023). How to be more empathetic. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-be-more-empathetic-6455878
Cohen, E. D. (2015, May 6). How to be empathetic. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201505/how-be-empathetic
Hepworth, D. H., Rooney, R. H., Rooney, G. D., Strom-Gottfried, K., & Larsen, J. A. (2017). Direct social work practice: Theory and skills (10th ed.). Cengage Learning.